14 June 2008

Bring the Rain

Wow, I have been reading this blog for a while now off and on and I just sat down to catch up and I am overwhelmed right now by how incredibly amazing this family is and how strong their faith is. Grab a box of tissue and start reading! I am also hugging my children tighter and telling my Jesus thank you for all that he has blessed me with! If you have not taken time to read this blog, you have to stop by and spend some time reading the story of Audrey Caroline.

You know, my first encounter with Selah was as a worship band at a Beach Reach mission trip I went on in college. David and I have always been fans of their music and have purchased almost all of their CDs, but knowing all of this about this family makes me an even bigger fan!

Update: After posting this, I realized that I have been very open about the fun I have with my kids and my darling husband and even about my weight loss journey, yet I haven't shared much about my faith or any of our trials that have made us the people we are today. My struggles are meager in comparison to this story, but at the same time they are mine and they are part of what makes me who I am today.

Before we had Kirstyn and then James, I lost a baby to miscarriage. It was very hard for me and I remember even before there were signs that I would lose the baby I was overwhelmed by the Spirit of God telling me that I needed to remember that this baby that was in my belly was not mine but HIS. I remember falling to my knees and begging my Jesus to let me keep and raise this baby that I was carrying but if that wasn't His Will then I would embrace that knowing that His Peace would carry me through that difficult time. After that time of prayer, David and I talked and decided that for each child we had that we would pick a Psalm to be that child's Psalm and we would teach each of our future children their Psalm because the Bible promises us in Isaiah 55:11 that His Word will not return void.

Our first baby who we have nicknamed "Sweet Pea" was assigned Psalm 63.

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth. They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals. But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
Kirstyn's Psalm is Psalm 40.

I patiently for the LORD;he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced; burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require. Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart." I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, as you know, O LORD. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly. Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head,and my heart fails within me. Be pleased, O LORD, to save me; O LORD, come quickly to help me. May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace. May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!" be appalled at their own shame. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The LORD be exalted!" Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
James' Psalm is Psalm 91.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no
disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

When I pray for my children, I often pray these scriptures for them. When I worry about my children and their unknown futures, I often read and meditate on these scriptures. When all I could do was curl up in a ball and cry when we found out that I would lose Sweet Pea, David would sit and read his Psalm to me. At the beginning of my pregnancies with Kirstyn and James these Psalms became a way to calm myself and stop worrying about the unknown. God has also used this story of mine to minister to several of our friends that lost babies after us and I pray that He will continue to use me to help others. Do you pray scripture for your children?



Kamis Khlopchyk said...

That is utterly heartbreaking yet they handle it with such grace making it somehow inspirational.

Going to hug my boys now!

Lorie said...

That is sad.

Natalie I am hosting a meme on Wednesday called Watchin' What We Eat Wednesday. I hope that you will play and post a healthy recipe on your blog and then come back to my blog and link up. I think this will be fun and I hope you can participate.

Caroline said...

Hey Natalie! Thanks for the encouragement! It's been a good week, so I'm HOPING to see a good loss tomorrow. As far as the blog reader with people's most recent topic listed, it's easy! It's actually a new feature by Blogger. If you go to your dashboard and then go to "Layout" and then "Add Page Element", the first option is "Blog List". It gives you the option of putting in each blog you read or you can import them from Google Reader if you use that. I love it! Just let me know if you have any questions!

Christina said...

Wow, Natalie, this is so heartbreaking and profound and inspiring - both their story and your own. Thanks of sharing.

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